The single most important resource for erotica writers is Morgan Hawke's Complete Idiot's Guide to Writing Sex Scenes. She doesn't call it an idiot's guide, but that's what it is. We recently started using Morgan's framework in most of our own stories. Sex scenes constructed this way are hotter, easier to write, and also quicker to write.
Need honest feedback on a story before you send it to a publisher? Want that feedback to come from experienced writers who will enthusiastically help you improve your story? Desdmona's Fish Tank is our favorite place for story critiques. Pick a pen name, sign up, and post a story to the free web forum. Note that the feedback will be as blunt as it is helpful unless you specifically say "please be gentle." You can post erotic stories to the Tank and non-erotic stories to the Cooler. Note: Before posting a story, replace any smart quotes in your story with straight quotes or else the results will be ugly!
The Erotica Readers and Writers Association has an email list for critiques. However, the mailing list is high volume. Reading it is like trying to drink from a fire hose. If you are willing to invest the necessary time, you can get great critiques from ERWA. The ERWA also has many other resources for erotica authors, including sample stories, a writing blog, tutorials, and especially calls for submissions.
Many editors require your story to be submitted in "Standard Manuscript Format" which may be abbreviated as SMF. If editors ask for this format, and you don't follow it, your story will normally be discarded unread. If they specify a different format, then follow their format instead. If no format is specified, it is safest to follow SMF. (It's better to show up for a job interview wearing a suit and tie, even if the interviewer isn't, than to show up without a suit and tie, only to discover the interviewer is wearing his.) Here are good explanations of Standard Manuscript Format from William Shunn - modern SMF for short stories and Daily Writing Tips - SMF is evolving and Mary Soon Lee - traditional SMF
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